There are techniques, products, and exercises that genuinely help with lasting longer during sex. The most effective approach for most people combines at least two of them. This guide covers eight options - from delay spray and delay condoms to breathing techniques, kegel exercises, and the squeeze method - with honest guidance on what the evidence says about each.
One thing worth knowing before you start: most men who worry about not lasting long enough are within the completely normal range. The average time from penetration to ejaculation is five to seven minutes. If you are finishing in under two minutes consistently and it is causing you distress or relationship problems, that is worth addressing. If you are lasting five minutes and simply want to last ten, the techniques below apply equally.
1. Delay Spray
Delay spray is the most direct and fastest-acting option. It works by applying a small amount of desensitising spray to the penis before sex - typically the head and frenulum, which are the most sensitive areas. The active ingredient (usually lidocaine or benzocaine, both established local anaesthetics) reduces sensitivity enough to extend the time before ejaculation without eliminating sensation entirely.
It takes five to ten minutes to take effect. Using too much will reduce sensation more than you want - start with one or two applications and adjust from there.
The most common concern is whether it affects a partner's sensation. Used correctly - and with a condom, or after waiting for it to absorb fully - it should not transfer. If you are having sex without a condom, wait for it to absorb and wipe off any excess before penetration.
Recommended: pjur Super Hero Strong Performance Spray
A well-regarded delay spray with a skin-conditioning formula. Apply 5-10 minutes before sex. Discreet packaging, fast dispatch.
For a full guide on how to use delay spray and what to expect: How to use delay spray for lasting in bed
For answers to the most common questions about delay spray: Delay spray: 12 questions answered
2. Delay Condoms
Delay condoms are condoms with a small amount of desensitising lubricant on the inside. The lubricant - usually containing benzocaine - reduces the sensation felt by the wearer during sex. Because it is contained inside the condom, it does not transfer to a partner.
They require no preparation and add nothing to your routine beyond changing which condom you use. For a lot of people this makes them the most practical starting point - especially if you already use condoms.
The desensitising effect is milder than delay spray, which makes them a good option if you want a subtle reduction in sensitivity rather than a significant one. They are also a sensible choice if partner sensation transfer is a concern.
Recommended: EXS Delay Endurance Condoms
A reliable delay condom with benzocaine lubricant on the inside. Standard fit, compatible with water-based and silicone lube.
3. The Squeeze Technique
The squeeze technique is a behavioural method used to build control over ejaculation response over time. It was developed as part of sex therapy and has a reasonable evidence base.
How it works: during sex or masturbation, when you feel you are approaching ejaculation, pause and apply firm pressure to the head of the penis - either by you or your partner - for ten to twenty seconds, until the urge passes. Then resume. Repeat two to three times before allowing ejaculation.
Practised regularly over several weeks, this trains the body to recognise the point of high arousal before the point of no return, and to step back from it. It does not work immediately - it is a training method that builds voluntary control.
It is most effective when practised during masturbation first, where there is no performance pressure, before applying it during sex with a partner. Discussing it with a partner beforehand makes it significantly easier to use.
4. The Stop-Start Technique
The stop-start technique works on the same principle as the squeeze technique but without the physical pressure. When you feel close to ejaculation, you simply stop all stimulation completely - withdraw if necessary - wait for arousal to reduce, then resume.
Repeated consistently during masturbation and sex, it builds the same kind of conscious control over the ejaculation reflex. It is slightly less demanding to perform during partnered sex than the squeeze technique because it requires less coordination, and some people find it more natural.
Both the stop-start and squeeze techniques work best as training methods used consistently over several weeks rather than as one-off interventions.
5. Breathing and Arousal Control
High arousal accelerates the ejaculation reflex. Controlled breathing is a practical way to manage arousal levels during sex, and it costs nothing and requires no equipment.
When you feel yourself building quickly toward ejaculation, slow your breathing deliberately - long, slow exhales lower heart rate and reduce the intensity of the arousal response. Shallow, fast breathing does the opposite.
This is not as effective as a standalone technique as delay spray or the squeeze method, but it is genuinely useful when combined with them. It also reduces performance anxiety, which is itself a significant contributing factor to premature ejaculation for many men.
Practical approach: focus on your exhales. Four counts in, six counts out. Keep your body relaxed rather than tensed. Tension, particularly in the legs and abdomen, accelerates ejaculation.
6. Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles - specifically the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which plays a role in the ejaculation reflex. Stronger pelvic floor muscles give greater voluntary control over ejaculation timing.
They are done by contracting the same muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine mid-stream, holding for a few seconds, then releasing. The exercises require no equipment and can be done anywhere.
A basic routine: contract and hold for three to five seconds, release for three to five seconds, repeat ten times. Do this three times a day. Results are gradual - expect to notice a difference after four to six weeks of consistent practice.
Kegels are an established treatment for premature ejaculation and are often recommended by sexual health clinicians as a first-line behavioural intervention. The evidence base is solid. The trade-off is that they take weeks to build effect and require consistent daily practice - they do not work quickly.
7. Position Changes
Some sexual positions create more intense stimulation than others, which means they bring ejaculation closer faster. Being aware of this lets you manage the pace of sex more deliberately.
Positions where the receiving partner controls the depth and speed of penetration - such as partner on top - tend to be easier to manage than positions where the penetrating partner controls movement. Slower, shallower penetration reduces stimulation compared to deeper, faster thrusting.
Switching positions during sex is a natural way to briefly reduce stimulation and buy time without stopping completely. This is a simple, low-barrier adjustment that can make a meaningful difference alongside other techniques.
8. Reducing Performance Anxiety
For many men, anxiety about sexual performance is itself a primary cause of premature ejaculation rather than a consequence of it. The anticipation of finishing too quickly creates tension and focus on the outcome rather than the experience, which heightens arousal and makes the problem more likely.
Addressing this is harder than using a spray or changing condoms, but it matters more in the long run for men where anxiety is a primary driver.
Practical approaches include: focusing attention on physical sensation during sex rather than on performance or outcome; open conversation with a partner (which often significantly reduces the anxiety itself); masturbation practice using stop-start or squeeze techniques, which builds confidence; and in some cases, short-term use of delay spray to break the anxiety cycle by providing a controlled successful experience.
If anxiety and psychological factors are significantly affecting your sex life, speaking to a GP or sexual health clinician is the most effective path. Psychosexual therapy and CBT have good evidence for treating performance anxiety.
Combining Approaches
The most effective results usually come from combining techniques. Some practical combinations:
For immediate results: delay spray or delay condoms. These work the first time you use them and require no practice. They are the right starting point if you want to address the issue quickly.
For long-term improvement: kegel exercises plus stop-start or squeeze technique practice. These take weeks to show results but build genuine voluntary control rather than relying on a product.
For performance anxiety: breathing techniques plus partner communication, potentially with short-term delay spray use to build confidence.
For sustained improvement with quick initial relief: delay condoms or spray in the short term, kegels and stop-start practice over the longer term, fading out the product use as voluntary control improves.
When to See a GP
Premature ejaculation that is causing significant distress, affecting your relationship, or has developed suddenly after previously not being an issue is worth discussing with your GP.
Medical options include:
- Topical anaesthetic creams - prescription-strength versions of the same lidocaine/benzocaine used in over-the-counter sprays
- SSRIs - certain antidepressants delay ejaculation as a side effect and are sometimes prescribed specifically for premature ejaculation
- Psychosexual therapy - structured therapy with a sexual health specialist, either individually or with a partner
The NHS provides sexual health services including psychosexual therapy. Your GP can refer you or advise you on accessing these services directly.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does delay spray actually work?
Yes - the desensitising ingredients in delay sprays (lidocaine and benzocaine) are well-established local anaesthetics with a clear mechanism of action. They reduce penile sensitivity, which delays ejaculation. How well they work varies by individual, dose, and product. Most people find they need to experiment with timing and quantity to find what works for them. Full guide: Delay spray questions answered
Will my partner feel the delay spray?
If you use a condom, no - the spray does not transfer through the condom. If you are not using a condom, wait for the spray to absorb fully (five to ten minutes) and wipe off any excess before penetration. Some desensitising effect can transfer during oral sex if the spray has not fully absorbed.
Are delay condoms safe?
Yes. Delay condoms are CE-marked or FDA-cleared products manufactured to the same safety standards as standard condoms. The benzocaine in the interior lubricant is at a dose designed to be effective without being unsafe. They are safe for regular use.
How long does it take for kegel exercises to work?
Most people notice some improvement after four to six weeks of consistent daily practice. Significant improvement typically takes eight to twelve weeks. The exercises need to be done regularly - occasional practice does not produce meaningful results.
Is premature ejaculation a medical condition?
Clinically defined premature ejaculation - ejaculating within approximately one minute of penetration consistently, causing significant distress - is a recognised medical condition with established treatments. The anxiety and distress it causes are real and worth taking seriously. If this applies to you, speaking to your GP is worthwhile. The condition is very common and very treatable.
Shop Delay Products
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